Future fun from the past

Someone recently asked me why I would write all of the stuff I do then publish it online for anyone to read. They questioned the wisdom of my actions, stating that surely it is unwise to allow just anyone to learn all this stuff about me. After all, they said, the reader gets to find out loads about me when, aside of a few lines of code in a web server log file, I learn nothing about them. But is that really true? I mean what do you really know about me.

Chances are you know more about the regular columnist you read in your Sunday paper. In reality when it comes down to it you don't really know very much about me at all. My name is Joseph Saxon , I'm just some guy, in some town somewhere in the Inida. But I could be anyone. The thing is I don't really get very personal here. This isn't an online diary full of kiss and tell stories or benign descriptions of what I bought at the grocery store. It's a collection of thoughts and moments that may entertain me in years to come when I print out and re-read this stuff again. I

f you enjoy reading what I write, then all well and good. And of you don't, well then you're sure to find something to your taste somewhere in the great expanse of zeros and ones that is the internet. What then is my motivation for publishing this stuff in the first place? Why not just leave it on my computer where only I can see it? A good question I suppose. My answer to that is that I have no answer to that. I don't know why I would share this stuff with a world I can't see. Therapy some would say, others might argue that it's ego.

To be honest I hadn't given it much thought until the other day. I suppose maybe I am setting up personal landmarks in time. I've written diaries before and sometimes I go back and read what I did on a certain day in history. The voice of a late teenage or early twenties version of me speaks out through the pages of time and I find myself laughing at some of the dumb things I said and did. As the author back then I had no idea what would be written on the blank page of tomorrow, and as the reader now every so often I wish I could reach in and steer myself away from what I now know came next. Of course back then my youth wouldn't listen to the wise. Just as I wouldn't expect those of a similar age to listen to my words now. Those who 'knew better' and tried to throw up roadblocks ahead of me, were summarily dismissed and their roadblocks ignored. The person I was back then seems so very different to who I am now. He was highly strung and on a knifes edge all the time. It seemed that he careered through life bouncing from one obstacle to the next. How that person ever got to where I am today is in itself the source of some amazement to me. It's been years since I wrote a diary. In a box under the stairs you'll find an incomplete one from 1999.

It stops dead right around the time I get back together with a girl I had previously dated. Presumably I had a change of priorities with regards to what to do last thing at night! And despite the fact that I toyed with the idea of writing another diary, in the end, I never did. 'My IRis' is, I suppose, my modern equivalent of those journals I once kept. The articles may one day make for interesting reading again. If not for anyone else, for me at least. The format might be slightly different, but one noticeable aspect remains the same. I rarely get personal. Perhaps it's understandable that I would stay away from personal things on the web, but when I look through my old diaries I notice that I write about the world around me, rather than how I felt about it. I question why it is that I seem unable to confess even to my diary the kind of secrets that every diary keeps.

Even now I sit here wondering how on earth I have ended up writing about diaries when really I wanted to write about the fact that today marks a significant ten-year anniversary In my life. I know that in it's pages I wrote a letter to my future self. I can't recall what I wrote. Maybe little more than ten years on I should write another letter to the future. But would I take notice of the voice from the past? Perhaps. Although first I'd have to stop and listen, and as I get older and somehow 'wiser', that in itself seems like such a hard thing to do. Maybe I'd just say, "I don't know what you know, I haven't seen what you've seen. But the person I am now somehow made it to where you are, with and without you. If that sounds strange then maybe you need to ponder on it for a moment, because even though I have no idea what it is, there has to be something in that truth surely."

Or in simple terms ‘MY IRIS’ is mine own. I write it because I love to write and if you feel good reading it, it feels nice that there is something interesting about my life that interests you. IF you don’t like ‘My IRIS’ stop reading it

Adams Bone

I am a christian. I have read the Bible. It starts off sayin that God created the Earth,the fire,the stars and God created the first man Adam and when he wanted a partner God created the first woman.. EVE. This somehow made me think that woman was created for the sake of man. If Adam was happy living alone wouldnt God create woman??

I am no one to question a religious book,however maybe I am just feeling this shouldnt have been written in the Bible even if this was the truth. I personally feel woman are stronger than men. I have never shouted at a woman. Its not that I never felt to. Somehow i feel that shouting brings out the weaker side of men. If Adam couldnt exist without the company of a lady, no man can live without a female near him.

I have admired many woman for the inner strength she carries within her. My mother was someone who loved me knowing that I was a brat. Some say that woman need a man to exist, I feel that the truth is that every man needs a woman, to lean on to her. Someone who listens to him. Cuddling the child in him, Protecting the baby in him, and loving the youth in him. I have seen men shouting at woman, and I see the strength of a woman when she just listens and try to make the man feel good. If a woman shouts back at a man, he would never be able to stand it; thats were his weakness comes out.

How come our society has a presumption when it comes to gender specific tasks? Well I must admit I am being a hypocrite now…. Working in a fast moving world it is a proud feeling to see Engineers, Lab Technicians, IVF technicians, Physiotherapists etc. etc. of my the EVE clan making a mark for themselves.

In a world that has corruption and terrorism ruling, it feels nice to believe that every man creating the havoc, has once at least once felt the care and love of Gods greatest creation... 'Woman'.

Every boy 'head banging' to rock shows must have once felt the warmth of a lullaby and every rebel trying to change the world would think once before he starts that, A man can never change the world without his better part.. a Woman.

Cubicle mania

The screen flickers and in the ambience created from the borrowed headphones my head pops out of my cucbicle to see a whole world of software engineers as they like themselves to be called, glued to their screens. An IP phone ring disturbs them for a moment like the dust particles as observed in "Brownian motion", and again they are back to work.

People here seem to believe that more than being busy the point is in making others feel that they are busy. Are we kidding anyone here? I am no one special. I follow the company rules contrict myself in a tie, wear the proper dress code and try a lot to sit glued to my chair, sometimes a thought just rushes my mind as to are we slaves to a set of rules which others call our values and culture. I think this shows the greatest nature of a human being.. adaptability. I respect this behavior in every breathing soul around me.

The people are happy, not that they are sad or worried about their plight. A closer look at every face,shows their eyes fret. It seems to have lost the life. I have not seen a single person look happy when he/she is alone. No one has the time to look out of where they sit and feel happy for the very silly truth that their lungs still hold air, and their heart pump blood. No one has to be blamed for this. When life is just lived to finish "tasks", no one can be happy that the task of life is still leading them on and on. It seems so silly when life is weighed in monetary terms.

I have tried to observe every human who share the cubicle with me. In none have I seen the life that thrives in them. This cubicle life would remain a mania and every maniac around living with a lot of inrospection that they forget to live and mere existing would be keepin them goin on, till one day the cubicle will no more need them and they will be out walkin the streets and then they may get a chance to turn their heads not to the beep of an access cards but to the chirp of a bird on atree top

FaCE thiS

Speaking from the other side of "the big three oh!" I can say that it's not at all a big deal. I turned twenty four and discovered that in my own life being in your early mid 20s was just like being in your late teens, only without the stupid bits.

I just thought in 5 years from now I will have people around me talking of just one stuff. people will be telling me that I need to "settle down" and find a nice girl to marry because, they say, "the clock is ticking." But I can't bring myself to look at finding a wife and "settling down" in the same way as last minute Christmas shopping. The whole concept of having to get someone now "before it's too late" just seems wrong to me.

"HURRY NOW - ONLY A FEW SPOUSES LEFT - STOCKS ARE LOW - EVERYTHING MUST GO!" The idea that I have some kind of 'sell by' date is absurd to me. But when people tell me "the clock is ticking" what are they actually saying? That I'm not actually that interesting, and that if I don't get someone before I go gray and get a few wrinkles I'll have lost the only thing going for me? Are they saying that love itself only comes before you're thirty five, or that after that age we're not able to physically enjoy some aspects of 'love' that we might otherwise have had? I mean okay, the clock is indeed ticking, but hasn't this always been the case? Why the sudden need to remind me of something that has always been a reality?

I'm maybe in no hurry to simply settle down and "find a wife" just because of the fact that I am getting older than the average newly weds. It annoys me that the very people who tell me to "find a wife" because I'm "not getting any younger" are often the same people who talk about how sad it is that the divorce rate is so high and that many people get married too young. So if it's possible to get married to young, and difficult to get married later, when exactly is that perfect window of opportunity to find that 'one true love'. And if it were indeed possible to narrow down an age range that is 'ripe for the picking' doesn't that then mean that in that age group everyone is so desperate to be picked that they run the considerable risk of simply making a wrong decision?

A decision that they may spend the rest of their life regretting. No thank you very much. I'm in no hurry to just settle with the next girl that's handy. I'm not a desperate last minute shopper running around the isles of Spouse-I-Like snatching at the last remaining stock left on the shelf. I have a far more relaxed approach to the whole affair. I refuse to believe this idea that the stock of possible partners is somehow depleting to such and extent that I simply must grab one before they're all gone. I think I'll just continue on my way through life, enjoying it as more of an experience than a task. And if "the one" is out there, then maybe we're more likely to meet in the fine wine section of the supermarket rather than the "Sale must end at 35" Spouse Isle. This thought was dreadful for it is being experienced by every man nearing thirty annd every female in her mid twenties. God bless I have 6 more years from now before I have to think of all the crap.